Say it ain't so, but school is just around the corner. That's right-it's mid-August. The time when people are coming back from their vacations, going back-to-school shopping, and finding out who their teacher is going to be. As we head back to the classroom, parents are aware of many of the things that they need to keep in mind. You need to get school supplies-that matters. You need to make sure your child is waking up in time for school-that matters. Since child grow like crazy you will probably need some new clothes-if you are the parent of a teen or tween that definitely matters. So what else? What else do parents need to keep in mind as they prepare their child for school? Toughness, grit-they matter. Paul Tough's book "How Children Succeed" talks about it. A brilliant professor from my alma mater UPenn-Angela Duckworth-researches it. It's an important thing to keep in mind as school starts. This article doesn't mention grit or toughness, but that is essentially what it's referring to. The article really outlines the importance of why we need to be very cognizant of not just what we say to our kids, but how we say it. I have seen this far too often in my work in the schools. Whether it is a teacher, administrator or a parent, I have seen girls frequently being praised for a trait or attribute as if it is static. People are much tougher on boys. This is not always a good thing, but if it's done correctly, in the classroom it is.
Girls are not nearly as fragile as we so frequently treat them. They do not need to be rescued all of the time. Even though it can be difficult for parents to watch, it's important to let our girls fail every once in awhile. And then encourage them to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try again. It seems that we often teach this important skill to boys, but not to girls. This is so important in school. School is not meant to be easy. The whole idea is that the child is stretching. That is how you learn. Putting in effort to try to understand a new concept or remember a new formula-that is how information is solidified in one's mind-how it moves from someone's short-term memory into their long-term memory.
The way in which this is taught is also important. Don't expect that you can give a girl (or a boy) an incredibly difficult task and ask them to solve it within 10 minutes without any help. All kids need to be able to learn within what Lev Vygotsky the founder of cultural-historical psychology, called "the zone of proximal development". Kids need to be able to stretch themselves when they are learning, but not so much that the solution feels unattainable. Providing support when children think something is too hard is what Vygotsky called 'scaffolding'. It's not rescuing a child by giving them the answer; it's giving them clues so they can find the answer themselves.
So teach your kids to stretch-all kids. They can handle it. They are tougher than you think. They are tougher than they think. And if you have a girl, do the same thing for her. Although it's tough to watch your sweet girl fall, the strength she will feel after getting back up and succeeding is incredibly empowering.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201101/the-trouble-bright-girls
Enjoy and tell me what you think! Leave your thoughts in the comments, tweet me: @fpschDrSweeney or email me: [email protected]
Girls are not nearly as fragile as we so frequently treat them. They do not need to be rescued all of the time. Even though it can be difficult for parents to watch, it's important to let our girls fail every once in awhile. And then encourage them to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try again. It seems that we often teach this important skill to boys, but not to girls. This is so important in school. School is not meant to be easy. The whole idea is that the child is stretching. That is how you learn. Putting in effort to try to understand a new concept or remember a new formula-that is how information is solidified in one's mind-how it moves from someone's short-term memory into their long-term memory.
The way in which this is taught is also important. Don't expect that you can give a girl (or a boy) an incredibly difficult task and ask them to solve it within 10 minutes without any help. All kids need to be able to learn within what Lev Vygotsky the founder of cultural-historical psychology, called "the zone of proximal development". Kids need to be able to stretch themselves when they are learning, but not so much that the solution feels unattainable. Providing support when children think something is too hard is what Vygotsky called 'scaffolding'. It's not rescuing a child by giving them the answer; it's giving them clues so they can find the answer themselves.
So teach your kids to stretch-all kids. They can handle it. They are tougher than you think. They are tougher than they think. And if you have a girl, do the same thing for her. Although it's tough to watch your sweet girl fall, the strength she will feel after getting back up and succeeding is incredibly empowering.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201101/the-trouble-bright-girls
Enjoy and tell me what you think! Leave your thoughts in the comments, tweet me: @fpschDrSweeney or email me: [email protected]